The Seven Keys from books by Lois Gold:  Between Love and Hate (1992) and The Healthy Divorce (2009)

As obvious as they are, the elements of a constructive divorce become obstructed from view by the emotional intensity of the experience.  It is all too easy to stop caring about what happens and start justifying destructive behavior.  It is easy to get trapped in spiraling hostilities.  Photocopy this and paste it on your mirror.  (From Between Love and Hate, pp. 55-56)
 
1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR REGULATING YOUR BEHAVIOR REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOUR SPOUSE DOES.
2. SEPARATE YOUR EMOTIONS FROM THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS.
3. SEPARATE YOUR JOB AS A PARENT FROM THE CONFLICTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE.
4. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE DIVORCE.
5. LEARN TO UNDERSTAND YOUR SPOUSE'S VIEWPOINT.
6. BE WILLING TO NEGOTIATE, COMPROMISE AND CE-OPERATE IN RESOLVING YOUR DIFFERENCES.
MAKE A COMMITMENT TO AN EQUITABLE AND NON-ADVERSARIAL SETTLEMENT PROCESS.