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My heart tells me I’m a Peacemaker. It’s a calling. I am part of a group of Peacemaking Practice Trainers. But what does it mean to be a Peacemaker? This is how I see it.

Peacemaking is processing differences in a way that results in continual resolution. It’s not the absence of conflict. It’s an appreciation of conflict as an opportunity to rise to a higher level of function and satisfaction.

Conflict arises naturally within ourselves and in relationship to others. It’s caused by unexamined habits, unmet needs, differences of opinion, personalities, perspectives, interests and values. It arises because of expectations and things that happen in life we can’t control or understand.

Inner conflict manifests as anger, jealousy, fear, anxiety and other conscious or unconscious emotions. Failure to resolve inner conflict results in ways of being that create discomfort for others and dysfunction in relationships.

Peace is the norm in life and leads to happiness. We all want that. The coming together in marriage is a time of peace and confidence. We expect to live happily ever after. But this peace is short-lived and is predictably disturbed by life and living in relationship.

Conflict is natural. It’s how we learn and grow. Not processing it properly results in ongoing personal and relational dysfunction and pain. Learning and using peacemaking skills to resolve conflict results in ongoing growth, harmony and happiness.

In peacemaking, differences are expressed, heard and integrated into a higher peace. This higher peace is based upon new perspectives that are more inclusive. It transcends the personal to larger goals and deeper satisfaction. It’s a continuing process and, with knowledge and application, becomes a way of life and a way of living in relationship.

In a sense the peacemaker is like the country lawyer of the past – wise counsel, advisor, friend, neighbor and non-judgmental neutral.